Answers on a postcard...

What is wrong with Americans?

In the passed 24 hours I have stumbled across three incidents of ... what shall we call them?  Gross insensitivity?  Stupidity?  Should mind their own business?  Or just plain bog off back to their own little backwater and resist any attempts to play with the grown ups out in the Real World?

Harsh words?  Maybe, but just read on....

This week Mitt Romney's side-kick - whatever his name is - thought it would be a good idea to slag off the UK's NHS service - presumably to try and whump up the number of voters who'd plump for his party at the next poll.  What a good idea, slag off how a foreign country runs it's health service, they won't catch on.

Nobody will be any the wiser - will they?

Well yes, actually they will; they have read the news, you see residents of other countries do actually pay attention to what is going on in the rest of the World. 

We saw the apparently petty-fogging attempts by Mr Romney to distance himself from said side-kick's massive foot-in-the-mouth bloomer.  Didn't the side-kick think to run this shameful ploy by the powers that be in the Republican party before he ran with it?  Hard to believe.

And then... We find naughty pictures of Prince Harry taken when he was cavorting in his own hotel room - naked!

Shock! Horror! Scandal, rumour - gossip!!

Well, no not over here.  For Christ's sake - he a young, fit, healthy twenty something year-old, he's unattached and well... up for it.  Why in heaven's name can't he cavort in private?  I'd be a wee bit worried if he didn't cavort, that's what young men do.  So he was playing strip billiards or some such - with  an equally dishevelled woman.  So what?  Was he running up and down the public areas of the hotel, waving his willie about?  I don't think so!  Can anybody tell me why they are shocked?

And finally... I listened to a radio debate about Mr Romney's side-kick's goof yesterday.  And to represent the US we were treated to a Charlie Wolf, who is apparently a columnist for The UK's Daily Mail.  He was there, front line to kelp the kicking the NHS was getting - and this was after he'd admitted that he's undergone successful treatment for cancer under the NHS.  But this notwithstanding, he still took aim and gave the NHS a good kicking for daring to sell their wares abroad.  Get the kinks out of the system first, was his cry, don't go wasting resources by selling brand NHS abroad.

The discussion also touched on the free at point of contact service we enjoy in the UK.  Admittedly no one is turned away at a NHS hospital, not even if they are poor.  But the service is not free, we pay for it via taxation.  I think a better term would be universal healthcare, for all.

Something the USA has still to catch up with.

Somebody stop me!!

At first a new author gets a kick out of clicking the Amazon Kindle reports button to check on just how many copies have been sold...now.  How about now?

And now?

There's nothing so satisfying as seeing that you've made yet another sale.  But checking once a day is enough surely?  Somebody support me on this, as I am - quite frankly - out of control, here.  but it's so seductive to bask in the glory of the sales figures.  That means... how much will I'll get in just over 80 days?  What mega investment will I plump for?  What a nest egg!  Or not.

The sales trickle in in ones and... well ones!  It starts slow and with luck begins to grow.  Rather like a zygote as it pauses before growing into the blastocyst that will become the fetus that eventually becomes the baby that will grow into the man; or woman.  Eventually, after time and the proper care and stimulus.

Hangon, let me check - any more sales.... no change from ten minutes ago when I last checked.

So, in the end, you have to stiffen your resolve and get on with doing something else - like edit the next one?  Or write it, even?

But just in case you missed it, here is the Amazon tag handily placed for your convenience so you can go and buy a copy. 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/A-Plate-of-Bits-ebook/dp/B008W7DFWI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1345469025&sr=1-1

Even if you don't buy it, I am told that just by clicking on the Amazon button will help bolster my stats in the famous Amazon algorithm that pushes titles onto and up lists.  And a girl needs all the help she can get on getting on that first rung of the ladder.

So... Go on - make my day!!

My Knees Have Gone All Trembly...

OK I've finally done it! My shiny new collection of stories is now for sale up at Amazon. Go check it out. Hell, go and buy a copy! It's only £2.58, a snip!

The cover looks like this:

Isn't it pretty?

I'd love to hear from you - whether you've read it or not.

Here's the link:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/A-Plate-of-Bits-ebook/dp/B008W7DFWI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344893201&sr=8-1

This is the  culmination of five years' work and the whole process from start to published had been quite a journey.  Now the work begins....

Cheeky Sod, I thought....

I've just received through the post what appears to be a page torn out of a magazine telling the reader all about the benefits of this 'Amazing Discovery'.  (My quotes, their capitals)

Apparently I could benefit from new research which reveals a 'SKIN CARE BREAKTHROUGH' (Again my quotes, their capitals... I'll not bother remarking on this again, shall I?)  It's going to

'HELP REDUCE THE APPEARANCE OF : WRINKLES, FINE LINES AND DARK CIRCLES'

But apparently the supply is extremely limited and  in high demand - so I am urged to take advantage of this incredible offer before it's too late.

And apparently one of my friends has taken the trouble to rip this page from the magazine and send it post-haste to me.  They've even written a message in the top left corner urging me to 'Call Fast, it works!"  And apparently they only paid the postage.  Wow!  What an offer!  Such magical cream it can give me 'Extraordinary Lift! Extraordinary Results! Extraordinary Skincare!

But - too late?  Too late for what? Too late to get some of this magic stuff? (The thought does spring up - if it's so f**cking good, why didn't they make more of it?)  Or does that mean it will be too late for me?  If I don't order right now, is the skin of my face going to drip down to my chin, making me look like Droopy Dog? (Those of you of a certain age will remember this sad little puppy - those of you who don't need this blasted cream, Google him)

There are even two pictures of a Susan Looper (whoever she is) And it appears to be photos of Susan Looper twenty years apart, or of Susan Looper senior and her daughter. Great stuff!
 
Then the insidious thought occurred - which of my bloody friends would have the brass-faced nerve to send such an outright insult to me?  Buy this you baggy-eyed freak, your poor, raddled face is in desperate need of a lift.

Whoever it is, I am definitely crossing them off my Christmas card list...